Writing, the Perfect Lover

Writing is the perfect lover for me.

She is magical, both ever present and invisible. And so no one can ever lure her away from me.

I confess I have not been the perfect lover in return, often I have asked her to do things for others she may not want to do at all. Yet she has never complained to me, never refused to author, and she has never left me. She is inexhaustible, nonjudgmental, and compassionate. At times like dawn or twilight she nearly always visits me, if I am in the mood. When I don’t have time for her she takes no offense but quietly recedes, infinitely patient.

Yes, writing is a mystery. And like a perfect love, she does not age. She has always been with me. She was here when I began to think and speak and she is here each night in sleep. She knows me intimately and there is no thought of mine she has declined to share. Nothing is too horrible for her, nothing to painful, nothing too unfair. No experiment for her is too bizarre, no suggestion rejected.  She’s ever waiting in the recesses of my mind and I’m sure she’s busy there, if not completely happy at least engaged in something to share another day.

Each time the intellectual demands of my life cease momentarily, waiting on the train, ironing, sleeping, there she reappears unbidden. I never have to ask. She transcends time, place, boundaries, inadequacies. She becomes whatever is her fancy when we are together. And if our time alone together is long enough, she takes me to places I’ve never been. She has no distain for truth, but no attachment to it either, as she is clothed in fiction.

She takes the twists and turns of life experience and crafts them into something we call story. There she allows me to relive events with a new perspective, and with the release of a full resolution. To any crime, she can bring retribution, to any longing, fulfillment, to any problem a solution.

And so I love writing. If I do not love her, who will? If she does not visit me who will she visit?

17 thoughts on “Writing, the Perfect Lover

  1. Yes Lillian, isn’t it great to have something that does not leave or threaten too at each turn of the mood? Thanks for sharing your love of thought, the spring of the mind, and your own insights here.

  2. Yes, this is indeed a beautiful tribute to your beloved!
    Perhaps I felt this piece so deeply because I recognize my future self in it… As one who feels I am just now coming into my own fully realized relationship with my own writing, I am both comforted and excited by what is in store for us! I know you’ll understand when I admit that I have treated my own lover with neglect, ignoring her for long stretches while I endured years of guilt-induced abstinence… a kind of punishment for enjoying her “too much.” Well, I no longer embrace or even remember the need for self-flagellation. Life’s natural gifts of hardship have fulfilled me in that department. Now I only want total pleasure, and I will thank you for inspiring me to continue with deep confidence along the path to satisfying my desires with unabashed gusto!
    (And how wonderful for each of us that writing exists in so many incarnations, an infinite bordello of lovers in all shapes and temperaments, to satisfy as many of us as would take up the delights she has to offer!)

    1. Yes, writing has many delights, incarnations, and no limits. I’m so happy to see you love writing too. She always loves me back if I get a little quiet time. Thank you for sharing your impressions and the beautiful thoughts here.

  3. This is so beautifully written, it’s as though your writing knew the subject was herself, and showed her feathers off a bit. Truly I can understand how writing could be the greatest lover. To me, it is my mind. My thoughts are the most tempestuous, seductive, tortuous, engaging lover. It is, I suppose, why some people say I am self- centered. I am completely enamored with thought. With exploring thoughts many tumbles, and searing potential. Thank you for sharing this very personal information about your best lover. Of course, there is no threat to sharing this because, as you say, she can never leave you.

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